I don’t want to die alone!


Ok, so it is a hazard in my line of work that i have to face the unfortunate situation of loved ones being discovered days and even weeks after passing away. Every time I get one of these such jobs it breaks my heart. To speak to someone who is dealing with the fact that they lost someone that they cared about and that they have to figure out how to deal with the situation is always a very delicate situation. I have specific questions I need answers too that are very difficult to ask. I always try to retain a calm, warm tone of voice and express my deepest sincere condolences. I need information that would qualify as the intimate details and these are hard, but necessary questions to ask. Then I organize getting the crew en route to ensure the family feel that we are committed to the sensitivity of the situation and that they are our top priority. Then I sit here, at my desk, all alone, and think about the departed. I always say a little prayer that they went peacefully and quick and did not spend any amount of time laying there alone waiting for the angel of death to come collect them. So now, nothing scares me more than the prospect of not only ending up alone as an elderly woman but finding myself alone on my floor dying. I close my eyes and I am there…… I can feel my frail bones begin to ache as I lay in an unnatural and uncomfortable position on the cold bathroom floor. In a flash I am thankful that I mopped the floors the day before. Could you imagine laying, dying on a dirty floor?! There is a chill that has started to set in. Sinking its evil teeth deep into my entire being. My arm is right in front of my eyes and I can see that it is broken, my skin is so thin and fragile that I can almost see through it. The water in the sink is still dripping and the sound is getting fainter and I know I am slipping away. I try to open my eyes and search for something, anything that can help me. God, if i could just get up off this floor! The harsh bright lights shining on the shiny white tile walls has started to fade around the edges. The Dark is moving in. Drip, drip, drip is the only sound I have to sing me to sleep. I have only a moment left to contemplate my life and think of my loved ones. I know now that I am not going to ever get back up off of this floor. On a good note my body is not racked full of pain anymore. I am so cold that I am going numb. I begin to worry about the strain this is going to put on my family. I wish I could see them just one more time to tell them I love them. Drip, Drip, Drip…..I let my eyes slowly close…….


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